Francis (Lauren) Underwood Warns of Trump: A Rhetorical Shenanigan

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You might confuse this face with one of amusement. I can promise you that Lauren Underwood is horribly triggered, emotionally distraught, and weeping. Why? Because she was unfairly treated, her rights were violated, her feelings trampled–all at a Trump rally. I know this because she wrote 630 words about it on Facebook in a post that has now been shared by hundreds of thousands and seen by millions. Like all things on the internet, every word is completely true.

NOTE: Her original post can be found here – All images are directly pulled from her post. I have not manipulated any of the images. They are her words and her’s alone.

Here’s the “Too Long; Didn’t Read” of her manipulative insanity since this analysis was a bit long winded: We went to a Donald Trump rally with an open mind — well we already know he’s a racist, misogynist, attention seeker but otherwise we were open to learning new things! We didn’t want to cause a scene so I wore a shirt that said “Dump Trump!” and my friend wore a Bernie Sanders hat. We were triggered by people chanting USA! USA! USA! and then got ourselves kicked out. Because of this, we have now proved that Donald Trump is racist, misogynist and attention-seeking. 

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There’s an open letter floating around on Facebook — something of the sort I normally would try to ignore. But this letter is different, it promises no excitement as the clock strikes twelve; warns of no monster going bump in the night if I don’t re-post it to my 50 friends.

Yet it does speak of a monster, only this monster is one that goes bump from the stump. And despite not asking for a single re-post over 200,000 people have spread her message far and wide.

And this monster most certainly has a name: Donald Trump.

Her story is a simple, long-winded rant. Clocking in at just over 630 words, Lauren writes in a conversational, yet deceitful manner–sorry, I wouldn’t be responding if there wasn’t a controversy. Her post is riddled with doublespeak and contradictions that are at times laughably noticeable.

She is obsessed with virtue-signalling and when she doesn’t prove her point or even support it, she tries to fill the gaps with statements that are meant to trick the reader into thinking she’s a good person. Now, she might very well be a good person, but in this instance she’s part of propaganda machine.  Worse still, Lauren is throwing herself a pity parade all the while.

Since, as far as I can tell, no one has broken her post down as of yet, I thought I should take a few minutes to do so. Her behavior isn’t unique, original, or funny. Its a problem, and one that is growing repetitive. People want the attention:

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I’ve taken her post and highlighted the pertinent sections:

Yellow: Indicates a miscellaneous lie, a melodramatic flourish,  or an attention-seeking addition.

Green: Indicates a section of here piece that was meant to herd readers into seeing only the things that Ms. Underwood wanted them to.

Red: Indicates a section where, despite her best effort, parts of reality shone through the Bernie Sanders. (I will be occasionally using his name as a euphemism for his initials.)

Cool. Let’s roll.

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Lauren begins with an age-old trick: she sets the tone.  In this instance, she tries to prove her virtue by blatantly lying to your face.  You wouldn’t know its a lie at this point though, she could have even started stronger if she wanted, for example, “I used to love Trump but now I don’t because I had the following experience…” Instead, Ms. Underwood starts with a soft landing by misinforming the reader about her intentions — she was looking to educate herself, she says.

In the first [green] highlight,  Lauren attributes two common criticisms to Trump as if they are not simply a received wisdom but grounded in reality. “Trump is racist, misogynist,” she say.  Well, perhaps — I’d make an argument favoring an alternative but that’s not my purpose for this piece–but if she already knew ‘Trump Steaks™’ out positions in prejudicial territories what did Lauren need to educate herself on?  She also adds an interesting third criticism of Trump that is clearly a projection: he is “popularity-searching.” By the end of this it should be clear that if anyone seeking peer approval is Ms. Underwood.

So, a quick recap, Lauren says she was at the rally that day to educate herself a candidate that she was already steadfastly opposed to on the grounds that he is racist, misogynist, and attention seeking. But don’t worry, Lauren reminds the reader, she “[tries] to keep an open mind.” Pardon my growing skepticism.

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This was a funny inclusion because there was no need to add a description of what she was wearing, but thanks to Ms. Underwood for letting her audience know that she went to a pro-Trump rally while wearing clothing that protests Trump…but she had “no intentions of causing a scene.” She just wanted to peacefully insult the person that everyone else was there to support.

Moving on…

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“Exporting citizens” – The Don’s new plan for fixing our trade deficit, apparently.

Oh no it must have been so hard to hear nouns, verbs, and adjectives spoken in a recurring pattern. How triggered she must have been. And when someone interrupted his speech, Trump had the nerve to kick them out while his supporters flaunted patriotism?! For context on the matter, Trump told 30–yes 30–Black Lives Matter protesters they had to leave after they began interrupting his speech. That is what Lauren is upset about here. God this is such Bernie Sanders — and speaking of Bernie Sanders, this is probably how she’d have preferred Trump to respond to the obnoxious rabble that infiltrate his rallies:

 

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Democratic presidential candidate Sen. Bernie Sanders, I-Vermont, is harassed on the Westlake Park stage by Mara Jacqueline Willaford. She and another activist took over the rally at this point shaming the Senator into leaving the stage. Saturday August 8 2015.

How presidential. Lauren is just full of Bernie Sanders. Moving on.

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At this juncture, I would like to point out how she has now typed 291 words out of her 630 word rant and not a single complaint about Trump has been substantiated. So far the worst Trump has done is…kick out protesters.

I find it odd that these boys enter the picture just now and not mentioned earlier. Let’s give Lauren the benefit of the doubt here though even though she didn’t mention them at the beginning–given her inclusion of those interlocutors that were kind to her I find it dubious at best that she didn’t use that moment as a foil for those that were unkind to her and thought this was included as a means to legitimize her innocence. Let’s not forget that Lauren has already admitted to engaging in debate with Trump supporters.  There are two types of debates: 1. where one tries to convince someone to change their stance, and 2. where one tries to argue for the sake of convincing an audience at the expense of alienating their interlocutor. Somehow I think even Socrates would think better of trying the former in this scenario and even Protagoras wouldn’t be so bold as to try the latter and think it would be without consequence.  If these “teenage boys” were real and not figments of an otherwise vibrant imagination, then it is likely that the boys and her exchanged in some heated debate.  People don’t take kindly to converts knocking on their door and philosophical insurrections are received none the better.

Lauren claims she was standing their silently after admitting to engaging with the Trump supporters earlier–I left this out purposely before because I wanted to include it here:

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Earlier, Lauren said they were “asking back and forth about each other’s views.” This is a bit of an awkward phrasing but I bet it’s totally how it all went down. I am sure that not a single opinionated position was defended or debated by either party, especially not from the girl that wore the “Dump Trump” shirt. And I, again, totally believe that she was receiving compliments from supporters of the man she was trying to “bash” by wearing that shirt. I can smell the Bernie Sanders from here.

Anyways, if she wants to describe her debate as “chatting” now, whatever.

If you’ve stuck with me this long I don’t know why you aren’t doing laundry, playing outside, screaming at a television somewhere or gauging your eyes out. You’re a better person than I.

Moving on, let’s return to her being kicked out.

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Short of violent overthrow, democratic socialism is the easiest route to communism. Bernie is hardly a socialist by the definition, he’s more of a no-good plunderer, but I will let my friend Conor argue the difference some other time. In the Meantime…

I manged to get my hands on some of Spielberg’s footage and boy does Lauren look sad:

 

Moving on…

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I was actually shocked to find out that this wasn’t a complete lie. While being escorted out Lauren received one high-five.

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Stephanie rudely demanded an explanation for why they would be arrested if they returned after being forcibly removed from a political gathering they were protesting. Quick is a euphemism for indignant reaction. Stephanie then retorts, “muh rights! (am I being detained?! )” to which the officer informed her that the gathering was private and they were removed by the host of the gathering for behavior that was received as unwelcome.

Lauren and Stephanie had no right to be there. They went there with the intention of making a political statement and to receive attention from it.  Just because an organization lets you into an event does not mean they are under any obligation to let you remain.LU9

Underwood then proceeds to feign shock at the anger not ceasing after she is outside the venue whereupon she is confronted by the many thousands of supporters that were not able to get in due to fire hazard ordinances. Well, that’s just Bernie Sanders. It’s no wonder that people were angered to learn that a ton of troublemakers took up room at a rally they wanted to actually witness for the right reasons.

She shouldn’t have gone. Also, what the hell does she think she is accomplishing? She hasn’t proven anything bad about Donald Trump. All she’s proven is that his fans don’t like when his rally deals with a constant insurgency and that they’re particularly peeved when he’s interrupted by scumbags. Shocker.

Moving on. If you’re still with me,  you’re a champ. With stamina like that you should be running marathons.  Even I want to throw in the towel at this point.

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Attention-seeking, virtue-signaling, weak-hearted social media diatribes like Lauren’s are ruining our country. No one has a right to protest inside someone’s private event and to say otherwise is to display with brazen shamelessness a sense of entitlement. “To think that my desire to waste space that could be used by someone appreciative and attentive could be taken from me scares the hell out of me. Why doesn’t Trump act more like Bernie and creates spaces for entitled people like me?”

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If she wanted a space to make a statement she could have done so on the sidewalk outside the venue. She wants you to think she was scared. She was a troll that got burnt.  Moving on…

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Bernie Sanders. She wasn’t standing silently. She already admitted to talking to people that she knew would never agree with her views. And look, I wasn’t going to bring this up, but when she angered the crowd they removed her for her own safety. Not to violate her rights.

And just because an event is open to everyone and free doesn’t mean that anyone can act however they want. Expecting a certain degree of respect from audience members is well within the rights of an event sponsor.

“If you’re thinking of voting Trump this year, please rethink your stance,” Lauren pleads. Maybe if Lauren actually spoke about Trump and not his fans’ response to her behavior this plea would be of more value. But the fact is all Lauren accomplished was writing a post about people that support Trump that equates to a manipulative rant (not that I am one to complain about a rant, after this showing that would be a bit hypocritical).

Last piece:

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Well, rest assured Lauren — none of the people you complained about are even running for president.

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